1. Dress appropriately. No, it's not necessary to wear head to toe black, but it is important to be in darker colors. (mentioning because I saw a lady in a pink, blue, green, and orange floral dress with a white base at a wake one time.)
2. Act appropriately. It may be your best friend that you're normally gregarious with, but now is the time where that is inappropriate. Tone it down if that is something you struggle with. We have no idea how loud we are being sometimes.
3. Offer to help. Chances are, they may not need help or want anything, but the sentiment means enough itself.
4. Make sure to speak with others who are suffering the loss than the one person you are there for. It may seem awkward, but if you know at all anyone else or know someone is say, your friends father, express the sentiments.
5. Follow up with a sympathy card. Make sure to include that the visitation/funeral was lovely, and that you're glad you got to see whoever you were there for. Again, offer to help with anything, unless you already have.
Things to say: (because we know this can be awkward.)
-I'm sorry for your loss.
-I am here for you if you need anything, even just to talk.
-I'm glad to see you, though not under the circumstances (if it's someone you haven't seen in a while.)
-Is there anything you or your family need?
-I am keeping your family in my thoughts and prayers.
-If you knew the person: Mrs. Jensen was so lovely, I enjoyed when she picked us up from grade school, she always made the best cookies. (express something positive, especially if the person suffered from a prolonged illness.
-If you did not know the person: I am sure Mr. Hoffmann was a great person, you always spoke highly of him (name something you can remember if you remember anything.)
-The best thing to say if you don't know what to say is: I am sorry for your loss.